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A Tribute to the Microscope Spill Chucker

Posted on Monday, June 24, 1996.

I've bought another PC, which brings with it a new spell checker. This one does the spell checking as you type, and also tries to outguess you on the grammar front.

It thoughtfully suggested that I should replace FROLICS is LOK's main claim to fame with either FROLICS are LOK's main claim or A FROLIC is LOK's main claim in my chairman's article. Nice try but no banana. I then let it loose on my list of maps. Some of you may recognise some of the following.

Firstly there are the ones that are particularly descriptive. How did you feel after running on SO's new area, Angering Park, or the Scottish 6-Day at Bowel Estate? The Harvester at Devalues Forest certainly did. The British most certainly wasn't in Eden Valley. It was cold at the SAXONS badge event at Fridge Old Park, and Mole Valley's Ranker Common is not very nice at all. Charlatan Forest showed a better face for the British Championships.

Some forests are better than their names. SN's Fright Hill isn't really that bad, and The Trashcans was good enough for a World Cup event in Scotland.

What about some international flavour? It came as something of a surprise to discover South Norway Country Park in Croydon. An intrepid Austrian brought you the JK at Creaky Vienna, and the November Classic at Danube Lodge. I ran a Student Championships at Bengali St Ives. Then it was on to the BOK Trot at Moslem Green. One of the worst areas in Snowdonia is Jordanian. The back roads south of Dublin lead you to Carsick Mountain.

Many people felt their way round at a night event at Braille Common. Mole Valley have organised badge events at Headless Heath, but the National Event at Mayhem Moor was more difficult. Part of the Forest of Dean has Treelike Common, but there are also hillier bits like The Plods. There was fun and games at the Scottish 6-Day events at North Atari and South Atari. Loch Arid Forest was struck by a thunderstorm to relieve the drought. There was then a chance to clean your O-gear at Linen of Tumble. You'd do well to get close to a perfect run in the contours at Encroach.

Those who don't take their orienteering too seriously may have run the Chiltern Challenge at Whenever Woods, or was that Wherever Woods. You may remember the singing at Arias Park in Scotland? It was then a long way to the GO Badge at The Chanteuse. Did you spot Burritos on Dartmoor? I'm not quite sure what to expect at the JK99 relays at Harlem & Hooray.

But of all the mistakes that the spell checker picked up, it's Silky Forest near Northampton that has the least appropriate spelling.

(The answers, in order of appearance: Angmering Park, Bowhill Estate, Devilla Forest, Ewden Valley, Eridge Old Park, Ranmore Common, Charlton Forest, Frith Hill, The Trossachs, South Norwood Country Park, Creag Vinean, Danby Lodge, Bingley St Ives, Moseley Green, Gorddinan, Carrick Mountain, Brill Common, Headley Heath, Malham Moor, Trelleck Common, The Pludds, North Achray, South Achray, Loch Ard Forest,  Linn of Tummell, Inshriach, Wendover Woods, Airds Park, The Chantries, Burrator, Hawley & Hornley, Salcey Forest.

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Canadian Orienteering Championships 1996

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